


The Melancholy of King Gilgamesh

by Sovereign64



Series: Impact Shared Universe OVAs [3]
Category: Fate/Apocrypha, Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works (Anime 2014)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Conquest, Drama, Gen, Humor, Journey, King of Heroes, Political Campaigns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 00:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sovereign64/pseuds/Sovereign64
Summary: Gilgamesh, the proud and noble ruler of Uruk, sets out on a conquest for glory and victory, but would also lead to his downfall and eventual demise. This is the story of the rise and fall of the King of Heroes. ONESHOT





	The Melancholy of King Gilgamesh

Uruk.

A vast and impregnable kingdom. Only a few cities in other parts of the world can match its sheer size and magnitude. It is the home of the one known as the King of Heroes. Although he rules his kingdom with an iron fist, its people still live through a period of stability and prosperity.

Now, its ruler wishes to spread its wealth and happiness by expanding its territory. And he shall do so by leading his army of five thousand men to travel to the far reaches of the continent and destroy all those who stand in their way.

After adorning his shiny massive gold armor and blood red waistcloths that would bring fear to his enemies, Gilgamesh walks through the front hall of his palace with his eyes closed, arms folded and his lips curved into a sinister smile. And after the massive doors open before him, Gilgamesh steps outside of his palace and begins his speech to his massive army of brave soldiers who will follow him until their dying breaths.

"Today marks the dawn of a new era for Uruk. As our kingdom is going through a time of peace and tranquility, it is also a great opportunity for us to spread our happiness to the rest of the world."

When he reach the edge of the stairway, Gilgamesh lifts his head high and spreads his arms out as he proclaimed,

"I, Gilgamesh, your proud and noble ruler of Uruk, shall lead you all into battle and bring glory and victory for our beloved kingdom! Let us march and fight together so that we can write a new chapter in history with the blood of-"

Gilgamesh cuts himself off shortly after opening his eyes. His arms lowered and his smile was replaced with a look of shock and bewilderment. Before him wasn't his personal army or the main gates and walls that lined up the boundaries of his palace or even a view of his beloved kingdom in the distance. Instead it was…

A blank white screen.

Gilgamesh turns around and arches a brow as he stares questioningly at the animator responsible for this featured presentation.

"Hey um, I know times are tough, but can we at least cough up some extra money and effort to show everyone some scenery?"

Gilgamesh momentarily leaves the screen. A tablet pen appears onscreen and draws out the scenery. When it is done, the animator removes the pen and Gilgamesh walks back into the scene, with his eyes closed and a sinister smile plastered across his face once more. He walks over to the edge of the stairway and proclaimed once again,

"I, Gilgamesh, your proud and noble ruler…of…"

Gilgamesh trails off after opening his eyes. Again, he doesn't see his army. But what baffles him the most is that now, he isn't in Uruk or even in Babylon, but rather in…

"…Sparta?"

Gilgamesh looked around the area in front of him in confusion. Beyond the gates and walls of his palace was a city filled with buildings and temples of ancient Greek architecture. After letting out a growl, Gilgamesh turns around and narrows his eyes at the animator.

"Alright. We'll go with what we have then."

Gilgamesh walks away from the screen again. A few moments later, Gilgamesh returns and now, he is dressed in a shiny gold Spartan armor and helmet, as well as a blood red skirt and cape that would make Iskandar smile with glee. With a shiny xiphos and a large circular golden shield in his hands, Gilgamesh proudly walks down the stairway of his palace.

"Even without an army, I, Gilgamesh, proud and noble ruler of  _Sparta_ ," He muttered as he mentions the name of the city. "Will travel into the lands beyond our kingdom and write a new chapter in history with the blood of my enemies."

The palace gates open as Gilgamesh walks towards them. After passing through the gates, Gilgamesh steps into the city with his eyes closed as he continues to proclaim.

"Just like Leonidas before me, I shall bravely charge through the battlefield and-"

He cuts himself off again and came to a halt when he opens his eyes. As his eyes widened in confusion, he looks around and sees that the streets he had entered is not Sparta, but rather…

An ancient Chinese city.

After glancing at the small buildings of Chinese architecture around him, Gilgamesh lowers his sword and shield and turns to the animator again with an annoyed glare.

"Are you not feeling well today, mongrel?"

Gilgamesh turns around and walks away from the scene while dragging his sword through the ground. A few moments later, he returns onscreen, now dressed in a golden steel helmet and black Chinese armor with gold shoulder pads and riding on a horse. As he gallops through the city streets, he proudly holds up his dao sword and proclaimed,

"I shall bravely charge through the battlefield and slay all who stand in my…way…"

Gilgamesh turns his head and trails off as he pulls the reins to slow his horse down and bringing it to a halt. The background has changed once again and this time, instead of being in ancient China, he is now in the cold and white landscape…of Scandinavia.

The scenery shows large wooden Viking ships docked at the shores of a gigantic lake with lush greenery and enormous mountains covered with snow on the other side of it.

Gilgamesh once again turns to the animator with a sullen scowl. He silently turns his horse around and rides his way out of the screen.

A few moments later, he returns, now dressed in a golden helmet with white horns and golden armor with blood red clothing underneath it. Holding a battle axe and a round wooden shield in his hands, Gilgamesh walks through the grassy field and spoke,

"Nothing shall stop my conquest in conquering new lands and bring glory and prosperity to the proud kingdom of-"

Gilgamesh cuts himself off and came to a halt again when he turns his head and realized that he has arrived…at a blank white screen once more.

As he nearly loses all tolerance, Gilgamesh turns back to the animator and gave a dark glare as he lowers his axe and shield.

"Artist, judging by your profession, I'm sure you are fully aware that every form of entertainment has scenery. And throughout my career as an actor, I had never-"

As Gilgamesh began to raise his voice while chiding the animator, the tablet pen appears onscreen and erases the King of Heroes out of existence.

There was a moment of silence.

"Alright wise guy, where am I?" Gilgamesh asked, his voice quivering with rage.

With the tablet pen, the animator drew Gilgamesh back onscreen, giving him neat hair, a black jacket with a white shirt underneath, black pants and black shoes. Gilgamesh looks down as the animator draws a red electric guitar which he quickly catches in his hands.

Gilgamesh looks up as a smirk takes form on his face. With a strong downward swing of his hand, Gilgamesh yells as he strums the electric guitar.

But there was nothing but dead silence.

Gilgamesh widens his eyes and leaves his jaw hanging in confusion. His face distorts into a scowl as he looks back at the animator. He flicks his hand, gesturing the animator to add sound to the story. Gilgamesh lifts up his hand and swings it down, attempting to play his guitar once again.

As his hand strums through the strings however, what follows wasn't a loud electrical strum, but rather the firing of a machinegun, startling Gilgamesh as he trembled with shock.

When the firing died down, Gilgamesh grabs onto his guitar and looks back down on it. He gave a gentle strum of his guitar and a loud honk of a car horn was played. Gilgamesh narrows his eyes. Out of rage, he swings down his guitar and slams it onto the floor. But instead of making a crashing sound, the breaking of his guitar plays the sound of bubbles forming underwater instead.

After momentarily staring down at the destroyed guitar, Gilgamesh kneels down and quickly gathers up the pieces before getting up and leaving the screen.

After having his hair spiked up again and wearing back into his golden armor and blood red waistcloths, Gilgamesh returns and places himself in the middle of the screen. He turns to the animator, fuming angrily with his fists clenched.

As Gilgamesh lifts an accusing finger at the animator and lets out his fury,

"NEEEIIIGGGHHH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH-IGH!"

Realizing that he is giving the loud neighing of horse instead of the raging tone of his voice, Gilgamesh immediately seals his lips and places his hands over them as he turns away from the animator.

After a brief moment of silence, Gilgamesh turns back to the animator and attempted to yell once more. Instead…

"WOOHOOHOOHOO-HAH-AHAH-AHAH-AHAH-"

Gilgamesh covers his mouth again after the loud hooting and screeching sounds of a chimpanzee came out from him. He lowers his head and removes his hands for a brief moment.

"Meow."

Gilgamesh looks back at the animator as he lowers his arms. As his face slowly distorts into a look of pure rage and exasperation, his entire body shakes in anger with his fists clenched tightly. Unable to control the anger boiling inside him, Gilgamesh lets out a scream of fury as he jumps around frantically like a spoiled child.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He slams his feet on the ground and lifts a finger up in the air as he exclaimed,

"AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL my life…"

Gilgamesh trails off and drops his arm after noticing that he has his normal voice back, as well as realizing that he had thrown himself into a pitiful tantrum in front of a live audience. He pouts as he straightened himself and looks back at the animator in a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

"Look mongrel, just what the hell is going on around here?! Can't we just get this story going already?" Gilgamesh asked, looking extremely flustered. He gestured to the white background behind him and holds out his hand. "Give us some scenery, why don't you?"

With that, he strode off and leaves the screen. As Gilgamesh takes this moment to calm himself down, the animator takes the tablet pen and draws a beautiful view of Fuyuki bridge and Shinto in the distance from the city's riverside park.

After the animator removes the pen, Gilgamesh walks back to the middle of the screen with his arms folded and looking unimpressed as he examines the black and white scenery that had been drawn.

"Oh that's nice. Very beautiful, I'll say." Gilgamesh said sarcastically. He glances back at the animator and yelled in annoyance, "Now how about some colors, stupid?!"

As he turns back to the scenery, the animator uses the pen and began coloring Gilgamesh.

"HEY!" Gilgamesh cried in horror as the animator applies various colours all over his body. As Gilgamesh turns around, the animator takes the opportunity to paint the front of his armor and finishes by scribbling his face.

When the animator removes the pen, Gilgamesh looks down and examines his body and armor in bewilderment. The torso section of his beautiful golden armor is now light blue, adorned with white and pink polka dots. His pauldrons and vambraces are now green, his cuisses and greaves are colored purple, his kneepads are in pink and his fauld and tasset are painted white, decorated with several red hearts. There is a brown jagged line on his face as well as what appears to be a black chinstrap beard along his bottom jaw.

As Gilgamesh quivered with rage once more, he bellowed at the animator as he frantically jumps around while pumping his fists into the air.

"NOT ME, YOU SLOP ARTIST!"

As Gilgamesh lands back on his feet and breathed heavily in anger, the animator uses the pen to erase his entire body, leaving only his eyes and mouth.

"Well? Where's the rest of me?" Gilgamesh asked, looking peeved at the animator. As the animator drew back his body, he continued, "It isn't as though I haven't live up to my contract…"

As Gilgamesh continued speaking, he is completely unaware that the animator had drew him on a large round grey head with an even larger round grey body underneath with no neck and a pink underbelly. The animator also gave him short stubby flesh-toned arms and small hands. Underneath his body, the animator drew teal webbed feet with short legs and no knees. Above his head, the animator draws two long yellow pointy ears with black horizontal stripes around them. Finally, as a finishing touch, the animator drew a harness around the body and on its back is a large orange sashimono with a crudely drawn face of Gilgamesh with a white dunce hat on his head, his tongue sticking out and his eyes replaced with two 'x's.

"I always have maintained a strong and credible reputation as an actor. And never once throughout my career have I ever failed to live to anyone's expectations."

As Gilgamesh turns and walks away from the scenery, he lowers his head and narrows his eyes in confusion as he began to have a strange feeling dwelling inside him.

"That's odd. Somehow, I don't feel so good. Not that I'm turning into dust or anything. It's just…"

As Gilgamesh came to a halt and continues rambling to himself, the animator draws a large mirror in front of him.

"I am myself and I don't feel any sort of aching in my body…and yet I…I…"

When Gilgamesh looks up, he widens his eyes and drops his jaw in horror when he gazes at the reflection of the bizarre and hideous body that the animator had drawn for him.

"EEEEEEPPPPPP!"

After letting out an ear-piercing shriek, Gilgamesh turns back to the animator with scowl and yells as he folds his stubby arms, "YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!"

The animator hastily erases Gilgamesh completely with the pen. Shortly after, the animator drew him back onscreen.

To his satisfaction, Gilgamesh sees that the animator has drawn him in a dark green military uniform and a dark red beret on his head.

"Ah, that's nice. I've always wanted to play as a military general in a modern day battle." Gilgamesh smiled at his clothing before turning to the animator. "Now then, may the audience and I have the appropriate scenery to go along with?"

As the animator draws the scenery, Gilgamesh began to proclaim,

"Whenever the going gets tough, I, Major General Gilgamesh, shall lead our army to-"

When the animator is done, Gilgamesh startled when he realized that he is now above the sea with a small deserted island with a lone palm tree in the background.

"Victory?" As Gilgamesh finished, he plummets and splashes into the water below. Gurgling in anger underwater, Gilgamesh swims over to the island.

When he arrived at the shore, with his beret and uniform soaked and drenched, Gilgamesh turns back to the animator and screams from a distance.

" _Heeeeyyyy! Give me a close-up, will you?! A close-up!"_

In response, the screen shrunk into a small circle around Gilgamesh, who is still left standing on the shores of the island far away.

" _This isn't a close-up!"_ Gilgamesh screamed in annoyance. When he couldn't control his anger any longer, Gilgamesh bellowed at the top of his lungs while stomping his foot and waving his arms.  _"A CLOSE-UP, YOU SWINE! A CLOSE-UP!"_

Gilgamesh finally got his wish when the camera zooms towards him. But it zoomed so close to him that his furrowed brows and raging eyes filled the entire screen.

"Even Gilles de Rais has higher standards than you." Gilgamesh muttered as he turns around and walks away so that he can form the appropriate distance between him and whoever is watching him. He is also back to wearing his golden armor and blood red waistcloths.

After placing himself in the middle of the screen once more, he turns back to the animator with his hands placed behind his back.

"Now look, artist." Gilgamesh's eyes softened as he spoke calmly, trying to reason with the animator in a peaceful manner for once. "Let's have a mutual understanding…"

Suddenly, much to his surprise, the animator uses the pen to push the top of the screen down onto Gilgamesh's head.

"Now what?!" Gilgamesh cried in irritation. He extends out his hand, magically summoning Ea, the sword of Rupture in his hand. He uses the sword to push the top of the screen up and uses it as a pillar to support it. After placing the hilt of Ea onto the floor, Gilgamesh turns back to the animator and places his hands at the sides of his hip. "Goodness gracious. Even my journey for immortality isn't as painful as this." Unbeknownst to him, the animator uses the pen to push down the top of screen again, creating a lot of pressure onto the Ea as it struggles to prevent it from falling. "Now then, as I was saying-"

Gilgamesh gets interrupted again when the animator succeeds in pushing down the top of the screen, causing both the Ea and Gilgamesh to fall onto the floor as it came crashing down on them.

Gilgamesh grunts in frustration as he gets up and tries to push the screen up. However, the sides of the screen began to melt like black slime. The King of Heroes falls onto his knees as the weight of the screen became too great for him to handle. And finally, after a few seconds, as the screen sank even lower, Gilgamesh falls flat onto his face on the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Letting out a high-pitched scream of fury and frustration as he gets up, Gilgamesh grabs the Ea and frantically swings the sword around to hack and slash the screen around him.

After slashing off most of the screen which finally gave him some space for him to breathe, Gilgamesh places himself back at the middle of the screen, breathing heavily in rage as he looks back at the animator with reddened eyes.

"ALRIGHT! LET'S GET THIS STORY STARTED!" Gilgamesh bellowed.

The screen fades to the black and two giant words appeared onscreen.

_The End_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Gilgamesh cried defiantly as he pushes the screen away and looks back at the animator.

"Look! It is completely clear now that you have no intention of working with me." Gilgamesh said exasperatedly. "So how about I do my own things while you go off and-"

To his surprise, Gilgamesh gets interrupted again when the animator inserts a pacifier into his mouth with the pen, then draws a large diaper around his fauld and tasset and a knit hat over his head.

Gilgamesh spits out the pacifier and rolls his eyes. "Hahaha, you think I'm being a big baby right now." He stomps his foot and yelled, "Well guess what?! YOU are the big baby for being stubborn and selfish, and not giving me and the audience what we want and-HEY!"

The animator responded by drawing several ropes around Gilgamesh, tying him up. The animator now draws a rocket behind him. Gilgamesh gets picked up by the tablet pen and the animator places him on top of it. Gilgamesh turns his head around and to his horror; the animator uses the tablet pen to light up the rope at the back of the rocket and a few seconds later, the rocket blasts off at incredible speed.

As Gilgamesh lets out an ear-piercing scream, the camera pans to the other side and the animator draws a brick wall at the right side of the screen. A second later, Gilgamesh and the rocket crashed into the brick wall.

Moments later, Gilgamesh turns back to the animator with his face covered with bruises and his lips forming a goofy smile.

"Ayyyyeeee…" He managed to say.

Suddenly, the animator uses the tablet pen to bring up the video player and rewinds the entire scene. Gilgamesh gasped in horror as he finds himself back to the first frame of the earlier scene, completely uninjured and sitting on the undamaged rocket once more. The animator slides the circular icon on the player forward and within a second, Gilgamesh finds himself flying on the rocket and slamming against the brick wall again.

The animator proceeds to slide the icon on the video player back by a tiny bit, rewinding the scene a little and forwarding it to the final frame again, resulting in Gilgamesh slamming into the brick wall once more. The animator does so several more times, making the helpless Gilgamesh continuously crash into the wall against his will.

The animator rewinds the scene one last time, revealing Gilgamesh in both an injured and dizzied state as he sways side to side with several bruises and a goofy smile on his face. The animator moves the icon on the player forward again, causing Gilgamesh to slam into the wall for a final time. As the damaged rocket pulled back, Gilgamesh falls off from it and lies on the floor in a heap.

The animator erases the wall, rocket and the ropes around Gilgamesh with the tablet pen. After erasing the bruises on Gilgamesh's face and lifting him up with the pen, getting him into a sitting position, the animator draws a hippogriff underneath him.

Gilgamesh shakes his head and looks down. A huge grin appears on his face as he picks up the reins.

"Oh wow! I've always wanted to have a mythical creature of my own! Hi-yah!" Gilgamesh throws the reins, causing the hippogriff to screech as it flaps its wings and fly into the air.

Gilgamesh turns his head and sees the animator drawing the sky and clouds in the background.

"Well, it looks like we are finally going to have our story after all! Now then…" Gilgamesh paused for a moment to cough. "I, Gilgamesh, the proud and noble ruler of Uruk and the King of Heroes, shall soar through the skies, looking for new lands to-"

As Gilgamesh was speaking however, the animator draws a certain boy sitting behind him with his arms folded and an annoyed pout on his face. He has long bright pink hair, tied to a braid and dressed in black uniform and skirt with a white cape draped over his shoulders, black stockings and white boots.

"Hey!" The boy yelled.

"Huh?" Gilgamesh turns around and stares at the boy in confusion. "Who are you?"

"I'm Astolfo, and you are sitting on my hippogriff!" The boy cried.

"Well, it's my hippogriff now!" Gilgamesh barked.

"Oh yeah?! Tell that to my sword!" Astolfo yelled as he draws out his sword.

"I like to see you try!" Gilgamesh boasted with a malicious grin as he extends out one of his arms and summons his noble phantasm, summoning several magical portals above and behind Astolfo and weapons of all kinds began to slowly emerge from them.

But shortly after Gilgamesh summons his ultimate attack, the animator uses the tablet pen to erase all of his weapons and portals.

"Huh?!" Gilgamesh cried incredulously as his look of malice is quickly replaced by one of shock and confusion.

The animator also erases Astolfo's sword and replaces it with a modern day rocket launcher in his hand. Astolfo smirks as he aims his new weapon point blank at Gilgamesh's face. Gilgamesh gulps before Astolfo pulls the trigger and fires a rocket. The blast sends Gilgamesh falling off of the hippogriff and plummeting down through the sky.

The animator draws a backpack on Gilgamesh and uses the tablet pen to pull a string. A parachute comes out from the backpack and pulls Gilgamesh up. He sighs in relief as his fall has greatly slowed down. After a long period of seemingly endless torture for the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh felt relieved that finally, for once, the animator has decided to show mercy to him.

But just as he thought so, the animator erases the parachute and replaces it with a large anvil. Gilgamesh looks up and drops his jaw in horror. The anvil falls and slams right into his face, sending Gilgamesh plummeting through the sky once more. A second later, Gilgamesh crashed onto the ground below.

At the ground, Gilgamesh gets up and sways side to side as he mindlessly slams his Ea repeatedly onto the anvil.

"There is a plant that looks like a box-thorn…it has pickles like a dogrose…and will prick one who…"

As Gilgamesh rambles in his dizzied state, the animator erases the anvil and replaces it with a large pile of dynamite wrapped together. The animator lights it up with the pen and what follows a few seconds later is a large explosion.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!** _

The smoke cleared a few moments later, revealing Gilgamesh, now covered with ashes all over his face and body. His Ea is lowered and his arms hang limply at his sides. His once beautiful armor has been destroyed and shattered into pieces, leaving him only in his underwear. "Pllluuuccckkksss…" He managed to choke out.

Gilgamesh tosses his Ea aside and frantically shakes his head, getting himself out of his dizzied state and looks back at the animator with a grimace of rage and fury. The King of Heroes finally had enough. After an entire day of enduring mindless torture and unethical behavior from the animator, Gilgamesh is tired of it all and had been completely pushed to his limit.

"Alright! I'm done playing games with you! I want answers right now!" Gilgamesh trembled with rage as he clenched his fists tightly and raises his leg up. When he stomps his foot on the ground, Gilgamesh bellowed at the top of his lungs as his eyes snapped open. "WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! I WANT TO KNOW WHO IS WORKING ON THIS!"

As Gilgamesh began showing his pitiful display of uncontrollable rage, the animator draws an open doorway in front of him.

"WHO ARE YOU?! HUH?!"

But Gilgamesh didn't get his answer as the animator uses the pen to close the door right in front of his face.

The screen moves itself away, revealing our animator to be a certain young woman with blonde hair, tied to a braided bun and dressed in a white long-sleeved shirt, a blue ribbon tied around its collar, a long blue skirt, black tight pants underneath it and brown boots. She sat in front of her slanted working desk, looking down on her tablet computer placed on it with its pen in her hand. Placed at the sides of her desk were two other computers, displaying the sound effect and video editing programs that were used to make the story.

Arturia Pendragon gave a chuckle before turning to the readers with a playful smirk.

"Ain't I a stinker?"

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> This story was a parody of _Duck Amuck_ by Chuck Jones. I hope you all enjoy reading it!


End file.
